TIME FLIES, AND THE POPTASTIC TOP TEN

Although there is not much substance in this particular post, the fact that my last December post was sitting in my first hostel in Bangkok over 1 year ago I won't bore with 'band camp'-esqe stories of highlights during the year as nobody wants to hear about that.

Although for my own benefit I have compile a totally poptastic top ten of the more random aspects to my last year of pretending to be an enlightened traveller.

Despite wanting to manipulate these to fit a top ten I'm afraid to say that I am that intellectually challenged at times and these are all true:

10. Months travelling (Australia doesn't count, I sit in an office 5 days a week!)

9. Minutes to go before my bus left me near the Vietnamese border when my passport showed up after being rushed up from Saigon

8. Different Shanghai learning institutions subjected to my haphazard and unique form of teaching

7. Types of bizarre thing eaten (to my knowledge! crispy frog, cockroach, duck brain, worm thing, cricket, bizarre bug thing, dog)

6. Hour death defying hike up steep muddy banks etc. in a pair of 60 Baht FLIP FLOPS!

5. Immigration infringements, and accompanied state of panic / ticking off from authorities

4. Continents travelled, after only planning a trip to 1

3. Eventual trips to the hospital after knacking my foot, and only waiting until it was a bio hazard before being pushed to seek assistance

2. Metres travelled before trashing my scooter, the morning after a big night

1. New Girlfriend


Of course there were many other numbers that could have been included, although I would have struggled to fill the gaps between the 36,741 units of alcohol consumed and number 10.

So, back to the here and now - besides trying to cram in some time to tan and impress on my arrival to colder shores, there is not so much to report in terms of personal misfortune or general silliness since the last post.

I am of course looking forward to my trip to UK, although I've not actually been that cold at all in the last year, meaning that my trip back during a Baltic style European winter will not fill with me with enthusiasm to pack it all in over here and come back anytime soon!

Although I said I wouldn't discuss it in much detail, I have however managed to take my poker to an entirely new level of cack, by getting cracked AFTER ONLY 2 HANDS at a recent tournament, leaving me to frustratingly watch my housemate and poker noobie make the final table. It would appear at the moment that I can talk a good game but not actually play it. Typical me some would argue.

The attempt at tanning isn't doing much better either, no doubt prompting phrases such as "oh, I thought you'd be tanned" and "is it not hot there yet?" and so on.

Things have progressed slightly more at work though.

With more time in my job and the initial technical struggle now comes the next stage. I am now able to sound like I know what I'm talking about without actually being any the wiser, which is nice albeit slightly deceptive.

Being able to repeat technical blurb does have it's drawbacks however, normally once I get a response of any kind.

To put it into a more real world example it's along the lines of:

Me: Hello, can I order a extra large super skinny decaf latte with a dash of caramel and chocolate sprinkles please?

Supplier: No problem, would you like that hot or cold?

Me: Urm, I don't know.

So in the uber-nerdy world that is work these days even the simplest of questions to my technical speak has me totally stuck, meaning that either I just pretend to know the answer and hope that the organisation doesn't get the technical equivalent of cold coffee or I continue being the messenger bwoy whilst desperately trying to look like a professional in the process.

Learning the technology just isn't a viable option. I still don't know the rules to the drinking game 'Fuzzy Duck' after about 100 times of having it explained to me. A very messy and expletive filled learning curve that remains unconquered.

After failing my initial attempts to stay in and preserve the body and the wallet on arrival in Australia, the last week (and hopefully two) has seen me indoors on the weekend more than out, although this is now through any sensible planning as such...I had been struck down with the uncommon but potentially fatal disease of 'man flu'.

Although after now being 'out of the woods' and on the road to recovery this has been a good thing as it has meant a quieter period before Christmas and the inevitable partying begins. Am looking forward to see what the deal is in LA with partying, although I must admit after an initial surf to see what to actually do there it doesn't seem to hold much besides the night-life. Suits me.

Initial findings showed that the main attraction were movie sets of popular shows like the OC (it's filmed in LA apparently, not the OC - bizarre) and other stuff that I know is popular but haven't actually watched for more than 10 mins.

I could be surrounded by these famous people when out in the trendy nightspots and not have a clue about it, unless Homer Simpson or Eric Cartman walk into the bar. Highly unlikely given their respective Springfield and Colorado homes.

So, given the lack of any real substance to this post my next one(s) will be on my return to Australia, my new island home. All being well and going to plan it should be filled with a story or two of the carnage that took place and the events surrounding it.

I just wanted to post before I left so that I could at least get 1 post in this month, keeping my postings archive running with no gaps in the month if for no other reason.