SYDNEY SO FAR: SANDWICHES, SLOVAKIANS AND SURRY HILLS

As always I seem to open with an apology at the
length of time between posts, although this time you'll get no such thing! Gone are the days of professional loafing, I have been a busy boy since arriving in upside down land, and have now down scaled to semi-professional level.

This is also why I haven't reported on my SBE's on my final day in China, long story short my enthusiasm for a bargain and a lack of taxis when raining sees me lugging my 40kg suitcase up and down huge flights of stairs in central Shanghai by hand, after my only real handle coming off under the weight.

All that could really been seen of me on the 10 minute vertical trek to my hotel was a set of fingertips gripping a large case with some flip flops at the bottom walking down the street. Not a good look to say the least.

When arriving off the metal bird and journeying through the outskirts of Sydney, it all seemed a bit calm and European like after the crazy people fest that became the norm in Shanghai.

It was almost as I felt like I was arriving back in England, but not quite....the array of boardies, sunnies, bottlo's and sunny weather kept my good mood in check and reminded that this was still Australia!

Not learning from my Shanghai bargain experience (or any for that matter) I naturally booked myself into the cheapest single room available in central Sydney, in the charming King's cross area.

This is not a train enthusiasts haven as the name may suggest, but more an area for someone with an alternate, slightly seedier hobby than one would need a flask and rainmac for.

My 'culturally rich' location was probably better described as a 'brothel sandwich' with my hostel being the filling, between 2 classy neon establishments making full use of their building space to advertise exactly what you could buy in their with your dollars.

The area is very much like Soho in London for all it's good points, and the seedier points you could argue are better as well, in that there is no undertone to it all here, with it all being legal by state law, unlike in London.
The seedier side not my cup of (English) tea though it must be said.

So, my mission which I had to accept, for my own finances as well as some decent sleep (you can hear all conversations at all hours from my room, some interesting ones at times!!) was to find a place to call home for the immediate future. Easy peasy, no problemo.
Wrong as usual.

It appears I have arrived here pretty much at peak time, so I find myself competing with all the other 42million English that descend here every year, hunting for anything where cockroaches and spiders aren't tenants as well!!
Have had enough of creepy crawlies after my Asian culinary challenges, and the ones out here bite back as well!

This basically involved sourcing every daily publication and trying to make contact before said place had gone...pretty difficult and at times and a demoralising start to my new life over here.
But in typical style there were a few bizarre places I saw before ending up where I am now.

Perhaps my favourite or the weirdest was viewing a place of a guy called 'Robo' in an area of Sydney I didn't know.

The place was reasonably cheap, had tennis courts gym etc....bingo!!! That's what I'm talking about!!

'Robo' I thought, sounds about as Australian as they come, should be a typical Aussie guy I can sheer a beer or 12 with on weekends. Nice.
So I arranged to meet Robo at the nearest station and take it from there.

Turns out Robo is Slovakian, and about as Australian as Yak meat goulash, but anyway we leave the bizarre ghetto area that is Rockdale (train station is was directed to) and walk about 10 mins FURTHER away from Sydney towards his place. I know Australia is a large land mass but still thought by now I must be closer to Melbourne than Sydney.

On walking through the place it's pretty nice, although it's painfully apparent that Robert (he gave me a weird look when I asked if he was Robo) doesn't partake of any nightlife in Sydney nor anything other than study, which initially surprised me with him at least looking 10 years older than myself.

As the place was advertised as a 2 bedroom place I assumed (foolishly as always) that it would be myself and himself sharing. So imagine my surprise when I get there and there are 3 other people waiting to check me out!!!

Turns out superstud 'Robo' shares his room with 2 other Slovakian girls who also look like they are old enough to teach at University rather than study at it! The remaining guy was a Kiwi who was using the place for 2 weeks whilst backpacking, he said nothing the entire time I was there.

That combined with the several other ominous signs saw me sprint around the apartment and give it the usual "I have other places to see / will call you" type fast exit and off I went, hoping that I don't get so desperate that I have to choose between a brothel sandwich or a Slovakian love nest for somewhere to live!

On reflection maybe 'Robo' was more a Robot reference rather than a shortening of Robert, as in Robo-stud or any other applicable term....either way I didn't want to know for sure and chalked it up as another random and disappointing day of apartment hunting.

As it turned out, like these things do, it came right at the last possible minute, with me viewing a house the night before I had to leave King's cross and the ladies of pleasure, with no idea of where to lug my ridiculously sized bags to next.

I managed to fool the occupants of a house in Surry Hills that I was normal enough to be allowed to stay, and after my Slovakian experience they seemed more than perfectly normal and it went from there. Beers were had that night out with them to seal the deal and all is definitley so far so good!

Pic enclosed of the house and my 2 initial housemates, Lizzy and Lizzie (nice and confusing ay!), as well as one to come with Laura who has now also moved into the last spare room.

Me and 3 girls, and my own bathroom. Nice.

So, with the housing issue sorted it was time to move onto the job hunt. However, this mission is still underway as I type so will have to fill you in on that when I actually get a job. Next post in 6 months time then!!

LIGHT DRIZZLE, FOLLOWED BY RAINFALL

After my stormy prediction of the arrival of the boys, all were ready and assembled for action, the predicted storm of controversy and chaos began with a light drizzle at best.

This was of course however after the typical, patented and much regretted ‘first night crash and burn’ which saw:

• 1 team member naked on stage in one of the busiest and best nightclubs in Shanghai
  

• 1 team member wandering the streets of downtown Shanghai inebriated after leaving said club at random
  

• 1 team member getting into local cuisine (!) and ordering room service ‘Alaskan crab cakes’ at 6am and to the value of an average Shanghai weekly wage. No prizes for guessing who that one was, so pic attached.
  

• 1 team member also fulfilled his boyhood dream of meeting Karete Kid's Mr Miagi, although after a lengthy discussion they mutually agreed to abandon any training and hopes of taking on the Cobra Kai dojo.
  

Monster size hangovers followed accordingly.

However, before the arrival of my unimaginatively nicknamed mates Tom (Webbo), and Mark (Millsy), myself and Dan (Dan) managed to sneak in a game of poker in a small Shanghai bar behind a curtained off room, which was very cool and made me feel very likewise.

I also felt pretty pleased at the fact that my poker luck / skill / mojo / whatever had returned with a vengeance, seeing me finish 2nd and 1st in the 2 games we played. This resulted in me walking of the bar with more alcohol in my bloodstream and money in my wallet than when entering. Nice.

Needless to say the profit was blown on further bloodstream intoxication later that evening.
There was one other game I played before leaving China that I also feels deserves a mention. My winning streak look set too continue, when in typical UK style I was heads up against Mark ‘Spawny critter’ Mills.

I was marginal stack and was dealt AA, after a modest bet pre flop was called the flop came 4-6-9. I pushed all in and Mark called me after hitting 2 pairs, 4-6 and I was left with a couple of chips, which disappeared next hand.

Scandalous, especially after he’s been taking my money at pool and darts the entire trip, even involving an embarrassing 7-ball effort seeing me lap the pool table with my shorts around my ankles. Proof enclosed.

After the initial Shanghai antics and this brief rant, it was onto Qingdao where the previously referred to light drizzle began, both in weather and mischief terms.

After making the most of a disappointing turn out at the closing night of the much famed Qingdao beer festival, everyone (besides myself – I’m hard as nails!) was sick in one form or another, and at one time or another. Even the 50kg of pre purchased anti-this cream, and anti-that tablets weren’t taking effect! It was like illness bingo, and I think it was only bubonic plague and bird flu before someone was going to shout “full house!”.

Although I moan and complain about this it really wasn’t the issue I like to make it out to be. Whilst the promise of German beer, architecture and beaches (not German, sunbed anyone?) were enough for me to lead the fellow blind here it did not live up to the expectation I may have (falsely) built.

I do think Shanghai spoils you in this way, with so many bars, restaurants and café’s to go to any night of the week with the food choice being endless (“Korean barbecue tonight?, or shall we go for some Tibetan Goulash?”).

Qingdao is very much a lively weekend city, with the dozen or so bars only occupying ourselves most of the time. The 1 nightclub ‘feeling’ as busy and frequented twice by ourselves, although very little in the way of mingling action, as well as a bouncy dance floor and 350bpm beats that even the most hardened of Germans would struggle with meant that we weren’t feeling ‘feeling’ anymore.

So after 3 days and nights in Qingdao it was on to Beijing, at which point Dan bowed out and headed home. A fine effort in a short amount of time, nice work.

On arrival in Beijing it was good to see the others pleased at the prospect of things to do and see once during the trip to our hotel from the airport.
I would like to go through the hotel selection process at the airport, although this would require a blog of it’s own. Needless to say it was a lengthy and fruitless exercise in which professional in sales and purchasing should be ashamed of!

At this point, the two remaining members of the visiting delegation were still playing illness bingo, although 2 major touristy days were crammed in thanks to the lack of any serious night time activity.

The Chinese term “la douza” meaning “spicy stomach” was a phrase well known by the end of the trip. I did manage to ease my frustration with the lack of night antics by pointing out this fact in my terrible Chinese at any waiter / waitress that cared to listen. Kept me amused anyway.

This was particularly useful during some troublesome day trips, especially the Ming Tombs, where 1 of the party was traveling at a speed of 7 toilets per hour. It seemed like we had embarked upon a ‘toilets of China’ tour rather than my pre planned ‘wonders of Beijing’.

I was pleased to see though that all the major touristy things got seen, and the proximity of toilets to team members kept any serious accidents under control.

So back to Shanghai where I was literally scratching at the walls of the airplane to top up my critically low blood alcohol levels.

Shanghai. Saturday night. Leaving party. Awesome.

With everyone feeling rested and somewhere near 100% health we all well and truly fell off the wagon Shanghai style!!

And from there on it continued as previously planned into nights of antics, mischief and all other things unsuitable for publishing here.

And so after a week of this, hopefully having seen a mixture of Chine, with Shanghai, Qingdao and Beijing all contrasting each other. Hope to see you in Oz mate.

So, it was left with me and the one they call Mark for 3 days in Shanghai….what to do?.....urm, let’s keep getting on it!!!

And that we did, thanks to the ever helpful, bad influences I have come to know in Shanghai, all of them good people, great fun and bad influences in their own way!!

I could travel a long way and meet a lot of people although I may never find good friends and dangerous drinking buddies like these. They nearly broke me.

So, the day before myself and Mark leave China and I wisely decide to move out of my apartment 1 day early and get a hotel to avoid any unwanted hassle in broken English / Chinese on the last day. I guess I can be sensible after all. Wrong.

My journey to my hotel from my apartment was only a small one, although it’s a long story and fraught with my usual SBE’s, which is to be updated soon, as well as my first impressions of Sydney.

Shanghai and China as a whole has been an amazing experience, one which I would repeat again in a heartbeat. Thanks to everyone who made it so, it could have so easily gone the other way.

So many stories have been missed, as well as those unofficial ones that can only be discussed over a beer.

Will post again soon, as well as a 50th post special comeptition! Not sure what you can win, but something will be on offer.....until then.