SHANGHAI (still)


After another typical lack of activity on the blog that now seems to be the norm rather than the exception, I thought it best to enter some more of my thoughts on China no matter how random.

Since last time I had now become unemployed as previously mentioned, and whilst my initial unemployment status on arrival was met with frustration, this new period of unemployment was blissful loafing. Awesome.

Although my teaching schedule was unpredictable and getting frustrating, I did still manage to inject some humour into proceedings for myself if not for my students. When teaching teachers during my last week, and making the discover that they have the same group characteristics as their students (i.e. the nerd, teachers pet, rebel etc. etc.) they requested a song for me to teach them.

Not being of a musical background, or having the slightest idea of a tone, I accepted their offer but promised that I would bring lyrics for then to sing from without my woeful attempt to join in.

Following result was a school board room singing along to my laptop with such classics as Phil Collins’ ‘Easy Lover’ and Rick Astley ‘Never Gonna give you up’. Now that was funny, if perhaps not educational.

There is something quite satisfying in laying in bed knowing that the world is working and you’ve just been paid, with no work in sight!

This also did have the downside of putting pressure on my weekly ‘winner takes all’ poker game, in that I was almost going to be playing for my rent and food, especially if I continued to be the ‘loser taking nothing’!

However, with my new found discipline to save money failing worse than a Kazakhstan Olympic bid, It was time to either hibernate for my remaining time here or get another job!

Thankfully, another teaching job was around the corner, although just before rounding this corner my ‘portfolio’ (holiday pictures of me not so wasted) got put forward for a TV commercial….although I never heard anything back! Damn, maybe it was a footwear commercial and rumour of my hobbit feet got out??

So, after reality struck and my career as a background actor had been ruined, teaching was left as the only plausible way to earn money. Although I said a teaching job was easy to find previously although in this case what I meant was that it was easy as this job found me!

An application to a teaching school was made hallf heartedly by me after just finishing my previous job, with me thinking better of it and not pursuing it. No later had I just realized that working again might be a good idea given the budget likely of my friends arrival, that I got a call asking me to fill in at the same place for a teacher who called in sick (for sick read hungover) on a Sunday morning.

“No problemo” I thought, a quick half day Sunday would get me some extra pocket money! Result.

However, after about 20 mins of arriving at the school and being briefed on my little horrors for the afternoon had I accepted a teaching post on a 2 week summer camp! Oops.

I’m not sure whether it was because it was early Sunday morning, the thought of some spending money or the good organization of the place that sucked me into it, but once again I was a responsible member of the English teaching community! Or a member at least.

I’m actually teaching in the largest foreign language university in Shanghai, although thankfully again to little kids…I think Chinese university students would be giving me the lessons! “Past progressive tense??!! Are you making that up???”

So for the most part I’m sticking to my best teaching attributes of reading books or generally pratting about, which seems to entertain both them and me.

So as mentioned, the need for additional funds over and above my usual spending habits are due to the arrival of messrs Mills, Webb and Roberts….the Chinese authorities have been informed of their arrival which has also been accompanied by the rise in shares of Tsingtao, Alka Seltzer and McDonald’s accordingly.

I will pull my finger out of wherever it's been hiding and update again before the arrival of the 'Chuckle Brothers' and Dan.....although expect much antics and chaos to report after!