ACTUALLY LIVING HERE

Living in Shanghai was going to be quite an adjustment I thought...easily one of the world's biggest cities should have scared me stiff after months of living (also looking and smelling as said before) a traveller, the thought of hot running water and a familair bed and bathroom was enough to almost pee myself at the prospect of some normality.

So, my appartment I am fortunate enough to find myself in is right in the very centre of Shanghai...short of being actually in a shopping mall in Nanjing West Rd that is.

It's so central in fact, that when on my way from the airport to such a place, and after much confusion with my taxi driver at my first attempt at 'taxi Chinese' I tried to find the place, but as usual with no luck.
This time, my map issues were not the common cause of 'uder error' but the fact taht the place is so central that it was hiding in the crease of my 2 page Lonley Planet map of downtown Shanghai. That's what I'm talking about.

So, after a week of chilling in between the visit to Beijing I started to get to grips with the place...you always know when you start to become accustomed as your heard starts to stop spinning every 10 seconds at the bizarre thinsg you see.

These days, a man riding a kids bicyle in pyjamas, or a man riding a scooter with a horse riding helmet doesn't get acknowledged...as this apprently is normal behaviour to those around me!

OK, I have to admit that the riding helmet guys on piddly scooters still raise a smile....especiallyas the large hlemet on a small Chinese guy is the equivalent if me riding a bike with a hat the size of a basketball!

I say only begining to get accustomed, as there are many thinsg that I still cant casually obe=serve as if nothing...I think to truly get there would be impossible unless I was actually a local.

Exmaples of this are the fact that supermarkets and petstores are basically identical, to the point that when I see a hop with tanks of toads, lizards and turtles out the front I don't know whether upon wandering in the depths of the placewill sell toothpaste, milk and cereals, or Boa Constrictors, spiders and rats!!

Although some of the culinary delights of China are too much even for my suicidal diet, the food here is absolutely amazing. Whether it's 20p noodle soup at my favourite little street stall near my place or a swanky restaurant in the toursit district all (Chinese of course) the food is amazing.

THis also kind of reflects on how I've found the whole of China really - a land of immeasurable extremes, in all aspects of life.
The obvious being teh gap between the rich and the poor, which to my understanding is the biggest in the world.

Shanghai has 286,000 USD millionaires alone, whilst everywhere outside the major cities people can only grow enough food to feed themselves.

It's the little extremes that amuse me though (most of the time), such as Shanghai is a city with plasma TV's on every street corner and every global brand name represented here in some shape or form, but something simple like being installing a phone line or paying a bill is an excerice in red tape so farciacal I almost pine for the streamline processes at GM!! Almost. :)

This amusemnt occasionally turns even the most placid (of which I consider myself one)of people in burning balls of rage, whether it be people bumping into you on every street, near fatal collisions with ubrellas (those little spikey bits on the end I mean)or people talking on their mobile phones loud enough to negate the use of it completeley...even above the constant car horns surely their caller in Beijing can hear their voice anyway??

So, although 'Shanghai rage' gets me fromtime to time for a few seconds it's all good and I've ceom to realise why everyone (foreign or Chinese) listens to their music...it's theonly thing to kepe t he peace in acity surely on the brink of civil war!
I know I'll be up for it when it breaks out, just need to get myself one of those umbrella-swords.


The pinnacle of this rage and the unique approach to administration was when yet again I managed to overstay my visa (3rd time so far - not bad eh?) whilst in Beijing on a week long public holiday with all visa / Government buildings closed.

The remedy for my initial panic and fears of deportation in a snug white jacket was 2 whole days on a sightseeing tour of all the police station and government buildings in downtown Shanghai, at which point I was given "an offical warning" by the police in quiet room on their 17th floor...apparently I should have known that for a week long holiday the country comes to a standstill.

Since then I actually manged to overstay my visa again, but this time no public holiday to blame this time, just me brain on a holiday as usual...no fine though,and now I am Shanghai's leading expert on immigration affairs.